Am I a Rachel?

This weekend I was in Nottingham at a conference promoting Farsight, the charity I have recently set up. It was a small but great event called ‘A Meeting of Minds ‘which was put together by Renewing Minds (formally Churches Mental Health Consultancy) and was designed to be a day of vision, strategy and commitment for mental health and the local church.

I was fairly nervous as it was one of the first times that I was speaking in public about Farsight, and it was to a room of people who all know a lot more about mental health than I do. There were other charity directors, ministers, psychiatrists, psychologists, doctors, community mental health nurses….. and me. The middle-class white girl from Kent, talking about working with African and African-Caribbean churches. Now those of you who know me, will know that I’m often doubting myself, my abilities, my knowledge, my experience, my authority and what I feel God is calling me to do. (Just to be clear, I’m not doubting God, I’m doubting my ability to hear what He says correctly.) Two things happened last week that made me doubt these things even more.

1. I had ordered some beautiful leaflets to bring to the conference to highlight the work that Farsight does. For various reasons (none of these being anyone’s fault) they did not arrive in time. Which meant I was sitting in the exhibition area with nothing but a pull up banner and some business cards, whilst everyone else had books, leaflets, DVD’s and freebies a-plenty.

2. Rachel Dolezal. The former NAACP President was ‘outed’ by her parents as ‘misrepresenting herself as black, when she is actually of Czech and German heritage.’ Over the last week, news-outlets, social media and anyone with access to a smart phone or a laptop has weighed in on the debate ad accusations of lying, racism and white privilege have been abundant.

Mikhail Lyubansky, PhD, a member of the teaching faculty in the Department of Psychology at the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign who specializes in the psychology of race has a lot to say on the subject. As reported on Yahoo “By claiming a black identity, Dolezal bypassed all of the hard work required of white allies to earn the trust and goodwill of people of color, says Lyubansky. “She created conditions where someone without the lived history of being black could speak for and on behalf of black people, effectively silencing their voice.”

Cue panic and minor meltdown.

Is that what I’m doing? Am I trying to speak on behalf of a group to which I do not belong? Am I silencing somebody’s voice?

This has been an ongoing battle for me which started long before the Rachel Dolezal story emerged. I swing between feelings of complete doubt and moments of confidence that these feeling are not true. Although Farsight works with African and African-Caribbean churches, I do not want to build myself a platform in these churches. I want our organisation to encourage and empower those within the churches to make a significant impact within their local community.

I’ve talked to people about it. I’ve talked to a lot of people. Of all of the people within the African and African-Caribbean churches that I’ve spoken to, every single one has been encouraging and supportive, telling me to go for it and ignore the negative thoughts. One person said to me, that if people only worked with groups were exactly like them, nothing would get done. Does every person who works for Cancer Research have a personal experience of cancer? Does everyone at NSPCC have experience of abuse? Can we truly only advocate for and support people who are the same as us?

I don’t know, but it certainly gave me something to think about.

I’m still nervous. I still panic. I still get those feelings of imposter syndrome.

Maybe I’ve got it wrong and maybe I’m not doing the right thing. But I genuinely, sincerely and wholeheartedly want to be obedient to what God is calling me to do. I’m hoping and praying that right now, that’s enough.

This blog post is not a ‘Please tell me I’m doing a great job’ kind of blog post. I’m asking genuine questions and would love genuine answers. Please get in touch, tell me I’m wrong or that I’m not going about this the right way. I would love to hear your wisdom, experiences and advice on discerning God’s will and following it with integrity. 


Feminine Hygiene in Uganda: Irise International

In February 2014, a team from TBC went to the World Shine Primary School in Rwentobo, SW Uganda for a life changing two weeks.

In February 2015, we went back.

One of the projects that I was focussing on this time around was the 11014631_324477667762829_8556878203652187720_nissue of feminine hygiene. A friend had pointed me in the direction of Irise International and the work they do to educate and empower girls about their own bodies, so that something like menstruation doesn’t hold them back and impact their education.
‘Periods’ are a seen as a dirty word in much of the world; they are something to be endured, preferably in silence and with as little fuss as possible. It’s pretty easy to just ‘get on with it’ here in the UK where we have easy access to sanitary pads, tampons, painkillers, hot water bottles and chocolate. But what about those places where you can’t just pop down to the local shop, nick supplies from a friend or buy horrifically overpriced supplies in a public toilet?


The more I researched and read, the more shocked I was. It had never occurred to me that girls were missing a week of school EVERY SINGLE MONTH because of their periods.  Fortunately, Irise had the answer; pages of brilliant resources that enabled a team of us to educate 150 young women and their teachers on some of the basic biology surrounding menstruation and feminine hygiene (No, a tampon does not take away your virginity) and lead a sewing workshop in which every girl made a reusable sanitary pad*.

On the day we ran the first workshop, a member of the team spotted the headline of the national newspaper. It read ‘Schools must provide pads for girls’ and explained how the government were bringing in new legislation that required schools to provide sanitary pads for their female students. They had a few suggestions of where schools could purchase these Western style, disposable pads in bulk. Now maths is not my strong point so bear with me……..

I visited a local girls high school that had 400 students. Each of those students will require pads every single month. One option is to buy the bare minimum (risking infection for the girls) and give them just 1 pad per day.

1 pad each day for 5 days x 400 girls = 2000 pads.

As we know, a pad should be worn for no longer than 8 hours, so each girl should really receive 4 each day.

4 pads each day for 5 days x 400 girls = 8000 pads.

There’s just one catch. Schools have to find the money for these pads within their existing budgets; they will not receive any extra funding.

The great thing about the Irise pads is that they can be made with materials 10422213_324477904429472_4367309325181324007_nfound at a typical Ugandan market for a fraction of the cost of a disposable pad. We donated the initial materials along with 15 hand sewing machines to the school in order to get them started with this project.

It’s amazing to think of the impact that something so simple will have on this community. Before we left, we met a number of teachers from neighbouring schools who had heard about the project; one even walked 12 miles to find out how he could implement this in his own school. The teaching staff at World Shine are currently discussing and deciding the best way to move forwards; either by providing training workshops, or by producing and selling the reusable pads to other schools (non profit.)

It was a wonderful experience thanks to the brilliant Irise resources, the openness of the World Shine staff, and the hard work of the TBC team who spent many hours cutting out the fabric needed for this project. I can’t wait to go back in 2016 and find out what impact it has had!

10308999_322835151260414_3709868579184749236_n  10501781_322835301260399_2774349589667768363_n 10991238_322835024593760_2490520885639318557_n

*Obviously just one pad is not sufficient, so materials, templates and instructions were left at the newly established Sewing Center. The Sewing Teacher learned how to make the pads and will continue to make them with the girls at the school. 

Equality and The Muppets

I love The Muppets. I have done for as long as I remember. For me it just doesn’t feel like Christmas until I’ve snuggled down under a blanket with my lovely sister to watch The Muppet Christmas Carol. I’m not sure what is it about them, but they have the ability to make me laugh, cry, and feel all warm and Fozzy inside. (Get it?)

But yesterday, as I made the most of a quiet night in, The Muppets did something else; they made me think. I was watching their new movie; Muppets Most Wanted in which the gang find themselves wrapped up in an European jewel-heist caper masterminded by Constantine (an evil Kermit look-alike) and his sidekick Dominic (Ricky Gervais.) I won’t give too much away, but throughout the film there is a struggle between Constantine and Dominic as to who is in charge. Dominic believes they are equals, masterminding their evil plans together, however Constantine has other ideas about the nature of their partnership……

As I was watching it, some of the lines of the song really jumped out at me. Check out the first verse:

“I’m number one, you’re number two.
We’re criminals at large but I’m at larger than you.
I’m number one, you’re number two.
I believe in equality as long as you get less than me.

I’m one. You’re number two.
You may think that you’re smarter, but I’m smarterer than you.
I’m number one, you’re number two.
You’re lucky to be number two not number three.”

It’s funny at first. After all, it’s Ricky Gervais and a dancing Frog. But let’s look at those lyrics again.
Let’s imagine that they are no longer the lyrics of a Muppets song.

They are the unspoken words from a husband to a wife.
They are the ‘look’ shot by a colleague from across the office.
They are constant looks of surprise and confusion when women speak of the equality they dream of.

Things are better than they used to be, and I am grateful for that.

But we live in a world where naked photos of female celebrities are seen as entertainment.
Where women are still defined by the number of children they have, and not their ability to do a job.
Where girls as young as 8 years old are sold as brides to men multiple times their age.

I’m guessing they don’t feel so lucky right now.

Dear Lady on the Northern Line

Dear Lady on the Northern Line.

You are brave. You are courageous. You are amazing.
You caught my eye as you boarded the train. You’d seen the looks that the other passengers have given you. Looks of discomfort, distaste, disgust. I saw them too. That’s why I smiled at you. I do hope you didn’t think that was patronising.

You see, Lady on the Northern Line, I think you’re brilliant. I know how difficult summer time and warm weather can be. Long sleeves, big bracelets, anything you can find to disguise those tell tale signs. But not you. You are wearing a beautiful, flowing, coloured top with tiny silk straps. You hold your head high, ignoring the stares of those around you.

You do not try to hide the marks of sorrow that you bear. Old, white and faded. Crimson and new. I do not know your story. I do not know your pain. But I do know this. Lady on the Northern Line – you are brave. You are courageous. You are amazing.

Why reading the Bible is like running a marathon

I don’t know much about marathons, or even sport for that matter. Shocking I know.

So up until fairly recently, I thought that marathon prep was just going to the gym for a month or so before the race. Right? Wrong. I’ve recently signed up to run the Tonbridge Half Marathon, and with the help of an iPhone app, a new pair of trainers and an awesome playlist I’m now a month into my training.

Last week I checked out a couple of websites where runners compare tips, talk about the latest equipment and encourage each other. My eyes have been opened. They talk about all of this stuff that I never even thought of! Special diets balancing carbohydrates and protein, fitness tests, running, the whole shebang. Call me naive but I never realised that running was such hard work!

I think the thing I’m most nervous about is hitting what is known as The Wall. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, check out this clip from the movie ‘Run Fat Boy Run.’

What I find really great about this clip is the fact that Dennis (aka Simon Pegg) only broke through the wall because of his supporters and the encouragement they gave him.Picture3

If you see marathon footage on the television, you will see that the streets are lined with supporters, some holding up encouraging messages and giving out water.  It is this support that helps runners cross the finish line (photo) and pretty much every runner I have ever seen interviewed says that they couldn’t have done it without the support of their family and friends.

So as I was thinking about the marathon and the different stages that are in it; the training, the running, the wall, the encouragement and the finish, I realised how much reading the Bible is like running a marathon.

Firstly there’s the training. As I am discovering, you wouldn’t run a race without preparing for it first.

So, 1. Do your research! If you don’t know the course, you can’t prepare for it. Somebody once told me that the Bible is God’s road map, guiding us on our journey. The exciting thing about our lives is that the destination is not unknown. At least not by God.  I find it so reassuring that I don’t have to stress about where my life will take me, because God has already mapped it all out for me.

All I have to do is enjoy the journey! This isn’t always easy, but the Bible is full of promises that God gives us.

For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord. Plans to prosper, not to harm you. (Jeremiah 29 v 11.)

The Bible is full of verses such as these that help us plan our route.

Secondly, the Bible is FULL of people who have already run the race. Bible-love
Genesis through to Esther is story after story of men and women who have served God faithfully and royally mucked up as well. If I’m going somewhere new, I always ask my friends who have been there first. Where did they stay, where did they eat and so on. We can use the Bible in a similar way to learn what went right and what went wrong in the lives of these famous Christians.

Thirdly, think about your motivation. Runners in a marathon enter for all kinds of reasons; to raise money for a charity, to challenge themselves, to beat their previous time….. Why do you as a Christian read the Bible?

Because your youth leader tells you to?
Because you feel guilty if you don’t?
Or because the Bible is a book full of guidance, wisdom, stories and encouragement?

The Bible is a love letter from God to us. Think about why you do or don’t read the Bible and maybe chat to a friend or leader later about your motivation.

Then make a plan! Much like marathon training, reading your Bible doesn’t just happen.

Think about when you are going to read it. If you’re not a morning person, before school probably isn’t going to work for you. Build it into your daily routine and set aside quality time with God.

Think about where. A crowded common room or shared bedroom may not be ideal. Think about how you connect with God – love nature? Try the garden!

slideshow_imageLike quiet and relaxing? Stick your iPod in! Be intentional in the environment you create so that you can meet with God. These things rarely just happen if we don’t make a conscious effort.

And there are so many resources out there to help us – so we don’t have to plan it on our own! Bible notes are really easy to get hold of either online, from a Christian Book Shop or through your church.

There are plenty of apps available for tablets, iPhones and Android that helps structure your quiet time, and podcasts that can be downloaded to your mp3 player.

So why is reading the Bible like running a marathon?

Because it covers every stage – stories from the past that prepares you for the race.

Poems of despair and encouragement as you hit the wall.

Jubilation and praise as you cross the finish line.

And support as you prepare to share your story with the next marathon runner.

Which leaves us with a question.

What do you want your race to look like? And what are you prepared to do in order to get ready? 

What I wish I’d known….

I am so privileged to know lots of amazing young people.
The majority of them I have met through my local church where I used to be a full time youth worker, and where I now volunteer.
Many of them are in the middle of a really tough few months as they battle coursework, revision, GCSE’s and A-Levels.
Most of therm are under immense pressure, be it from their schools, parents, future universities or peers.
Ten years ago I was taking my first GCSE’s and starting to really feel the heat. Here are three things I wish I’d known back then…..

1. School work is important, but it’s not the be all and end all. (Gasp!)

What do Simon Cowell, Richard Branson and Lord Sugar have in common?
Apart from being ridiculously wealthy, they all left school at the age of 16 with two GCSE’s between them. Now before you all stop reading and start burning your school uniform, let me finish. I’m not saying that you don’t need school. I’m not saying that you don’t need qualifications. What I am saying, is that if you open your results in August and didn’t quite get what you hoped for, it’s OK. Because whilst school work is important, it’s not the only thing that matters.

2. Balance is key.

When exam season is upon you, often the natural thing to do is to clear your diary and cram. You get up early, you skip meals, you stay up late. I know this because I used to do it. Something I wish I’d known back then is that a healthy balance is one of the best tools you have at your disposal. Going into that exam room having had a good nights sleep means your brain is functioning at its best. As tempting as it is to focus entirely on your work, please try and keep some balance. Don’t skip the things that energize and refresh you; they are an important part of staying grounded. Take half an hour each evening to eat dinner with your family. Talk about other things. Don’t skip Brigades; everyone deserves to have Friday night free. Walk the dog. Enjoy the sunshine. You’ll feel much better – I promise.

3. Your health and well-being must always come first. 

‘Just try your best. That’s all you can do.’
But what is my best? How much work do I have to do in order to have ‘done my best?’ When I was taking my exams, I became obsessed with the idea that in order to succeed, I had to give it 1000%. I was constantly battling the belief that unless I did that little bit more, I didn’t deserve to do well. I would spend every waking moment working and revising; that was all that mattered. I truly believed that unless I worked myself to the point of exhaustion, God would not bless me with good grades. So for four years that is what I did. Each time exam season arrived I worked until I became ill. I learned bad lessons and developed unhealthy habits that were hard to break. I’ve just finished my final exams for university, and I could feel those old beliefs starting to creep back into my brain. ‘You went for coffee with a friend on Saturday instead of revising. You don’t deserve to pass,’ they whispered to me as I sat in that exam room.

In those moments it can be really difficult to distinguish between the lies and the truth.
Surround yourself with good people; people who encourage and support you, who will help you to tell the difference.
Remember that the God who created you is a God of love, not a God of punishment. You cannot earn his love. Working hard will not help you to get it. Your grades do not determine it. It’s yours no matter what.

Princesses – who have I missed?

Over the last week or so, I’ve been compiling my list of Top 5 Princesses; a mixture of fictional and real women who I believe are great role models.

In no particular order, my list includes:

1. Princess Ameerah Al-Taweel

2. Princess Elisabeth of Belgium

3. Eowyn

4. Elizabeth II

5. Princess Fiona

I would love to hear your feedback.
Do you agree or disagree with my list?
Who have I missed?

Please get in touch via the contact form above.


1. Princess Ameerah Al-Taweel

I must confess, I’ve had real trouble with finding a fifth princess that I wanted to write about. When I thought about putting this list together, I was sure I had five amazing women on my list (in hindsight I think I counted somebody twice.) So after a few days of trawling through Google (other search engines are available) I was a little worried. People kept asking me’ When are you going to write up the final princess?’ and I would laugh nervously and change the subject. 0x600

Yesterday a miracle arrived in the form of Glamour magazine (never thought I’d be uttering that sentence) which profiled Ameerah Al-Taweel, the ex-wife of Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal of Saudi Arabia. She met the Prince when she was eighteen years old, when she had the opportunity to interview him for her school newspaper. Nine months later, they were married and Ameerah became Princess Ameerah. Many expected her as the wife of one of the 30 richest men in the world, to sit back and enjoy her new position and the lavish lifestyle that accompanied it.

But this wasn’t what Princess Ameerah had in mind. In the Glamour interview, printed in April of 2014, she reflected “I didn’t want to be that girl who’s not doing anything. I wanted to make an impact.” Ameerah started dedicating much of her time to working on her husband’s charity. the Alwaleed Bin Talal Foundations, and began fighting for women’s civil rights; including the right to drive, inherit equally, and retain custody of children after divorce.

Sadly the Prince and Princess divorced in 2013 after five years of marriage, however it was an amicable split and the couple state that they have remained good friends. This has not stopped Ameerah from continuing to campaign for women’s rights both in Saudi Arabia and across the world. During the last five years she has visited over 70 countries, supporting orphanages in Burkina Faso, providing aid to victims of flooding in Pakistan, and continuing to improve and promote the image of Saudi women through her efforts.

ki19According to Wikipedia, some of her many accolades include: an honorary member of the Disabled Children’s Association and an honorary board member of the Saudi Volunteering Society. She is also the founder and CEO of Times Entertainment and Co-Founder of Tasamy a foundation which employs jobless Saudi people. In 2011, Princess Ameerah received the ITP Special “Humanitarian Award” on behalf of the Alwaleed Bin Talal Foundation at the Arabian Business Achievement Awards ceremony.

Her efforts have not always made her popular however. In January of 2012, her then brother in law Prince Khalid bin Talal bin Abdul Aziz publicly criticized the Princess for her increasingly high profile image, threatening his brother to reign in the “repeated appearance of his wife in the media,” warning him of “severe” repercussions if the younger Prince does not stop “practices which violate our family, religion and Saudi values.” (extract from The Huffington Post.)

Her response?

“Saudi women are doing incredible things, and we’re making progress all the time,” she says. “I want to be the one women look to when they tell their daughters, ‘Look, she got a divorce and see what she’s doing now? She’s an independent woman. She’s doing something good for her country. She’s a role model.'”